Description
It’s hilarious when members of the public look at the author of a work of pulp fiction and reflexively, baselessly accuse them of committing the crimes they wrote about. Like, “oh, you wrote a book about people who go around robbing banks, so you must secretly be a bank robber!” Duh, I am not a bank robber, why do I even have to say this, it should be obvious; but as it turns out, human beings gathered together in a society can collectively achieve such incredible heights of insipid credulity that clearly we need fast-paced works of humorous irony like The Battle of Hillsboro to get people to wake up!
The Battle of Hillsboro – eXtremely Offensive 15th Anniversary Edition (2009 to 2024)
Yes, friends, this is the revised and updated “eXtremely Offensive 15th Anniversary Edition” of The Battle of Hillsboro by that one guy, Jesse S. Smith. With even more terrible one-liners, and a more inclusive rebel insurgency, this revised and updated version of one of Basementia’s top-selling titles of all time has something in it that’s sure to be offensive to anyone and everyone who reads it, no matter who you are. So, if you’re the sort of person who enjoys reading that sort of thing, then you already know who you are, and you know that you will love this book. In our humble opinion.
And as always, we love to “talk tough” over here, but in reality this is just, like, Chuck Palahniuk-level violence; it’s not really that bad. I mean, sure, I guess, it’s kind of, definitely not for children, and yeah, at the end (spoiler alert!!!!) the main character sort of, well, dies gruesomely, holding his own internal organs in his hands; but other than that, it’s not too bad. Also some gun shootouts with the police. But not that bad. Really. Grand theft auto, that sort of thing. It’s a fun little crime spree story. Give it a read, you’ll like it. If you’re a bad person. But not that bad. Just kind of, a little bit naughty sometimes. Don’t deny it.
Ahem. So anyway, The Battle of Hillsboro is the story of what can happen when highly educated, slightly crazy people are unable to find meaning or satisfaction in their lives and their careers and their designated roles in our glorious modern society. Eventually, their rather pointless crime spree becomes a metaphor for all human wars throughout history; and in this updated edition, it becomes clear how, each in its own way, every major political and religious philosophy in modern society tends to contribute to a seemingly inevitable showdown.
It’s ironic. It’s sarcastic. It’s allegorical. It’s fast-paced and hilarious. It’s so, so wrong. You’ll love it. Give it a read. Also available as an affordable e-book from somewhere or other. But if you buy the paperback, then you can leave it out on your coffee table to impress your friends.
The Battle of Hillsboro. Not actually a real battle occurring in a real place by that name. That you know of. Some limitations apply. Void where prohibited. Get yours today.
About the Author
Jesse S. Smith is a Nature-loving Pacific Northwesterner, a writer, musician, and multimedia creator.
